Linda Weiss Baruch said...
MEMORIES OF SMITTY Dr Robert Scott Smith was known to us all simply as Smitty. We grew up together and some of us grew older together. Everyone who knew him and who were his friends quite simply loved him.I first met Smitty when I was in 7th grade. It was at Crystal Beach and he was the coolest dude and the greatest dancer! I don’t know how it happened but we became instant friends, a friendship that lasted well into our adulthood, til after he left his family and friends behind.Throughout my growing up Smitty was in every way but biological the brother I never had. We both had some rough times in our lives and we both got one another through those times better than either of us would have alone. My parents loved him and even when I no longer lived in Buffalo he would show up at my mom’s kitchen window, tap on it and come in for long visits lasting well thru the night. ”two meshuginah insomniacs’” was how my father described it.My parents loved his wife Ginger and she never failed to visit them when she was in town as well. They took enormous pride in his accomplishments professionally and were as saddened by his failures as if he were their own.Smitty guided me when I entered Bennett and introduced me to a group of guy friends many of whom are my dearest and closest friends to this day. He had very good taste in the people he chose in those years.He gave me “guy” advise, let me cry on his shoulder when I failed, worked like a slave to get me to understand and pass math and taught me some awesome dance moves when I still in grade school! He tried to teach me play boogie woogie on the piano and I cannot think of him in those years without smiling.Two summers when we were in high school we both went to NYC together. He stayed with an Uncle on the Upper West Side and I stayed on the lower Park Ave in the apartment of an Uncle of mine. We trolled the village together night after night, hanging out in coffee houses, going to The Blue Note and a few other Jazz Clubs. We saw Three Penny Opera together and Mack the Knife became “our” song. Neither of us had much money to spend but we managed to have the best time in the world walking all over the city, arm in arm, doubled over in laughter much of the time. He bought me a belt that was highly fashionable at the time and I have it to this day. I cannot part with it because that strip of leather is my key to a better time and to Smitty. It was a time when the entire world and all of its possibilities lay ahead of us. Smitty introduced me to jazz which has been a life long pleasure of mine, all due to him.Smitty had an enormous intellect but he had next to no discipline. He went to school on a scholarship and term after term he was called into the Dean’s office to rescind his scholarship and walked out with MORE money than he had when he walked in. His brilliance gave him stunning grades, his lack of discipline kept him from attending classes. He just got the assignments, turned in papers, showed up for tests which he invariably aced and felt that was all that should matter. Somehow he conned the power’s that be to the amazement of one and all.Years later when my marriage was breaking up he drove up from S. Jersey where he was stationed in the army to go with me on a Sunday to take my eldest Lauren aged 5 to “pre-camp” day at Candy Mountain Day Camp. He was insistent that she shouldn’t be the only child going to see the camp and find her cubby without BOTH parents. His insight into the emotional needs of a child couldn’t presage the future. She remembers to this day how Smitty was the one who figured out a way to teach her tie her shoes. I certainly hadn’t managed to teach her. She remembers his fun, his hugs and his unmatchable great big grin! As in years earlier Smitty contributed much to my getting through this very difficult time of my life a whole lot better than I would have without him. We spent millions of hours on the phone and visited in each other’s homes all the time, both while he lived in New Jersey and then when he moved to Connecticut.There is no way for me to remember the Bob Smith of those days without smiling and there is no way for me to think of him without an ache in my heart.I lost my friend years ago. I cried and mourned back then and missed him. The legacy that I got from him was the knowledge that a guy and a girl can have one of the most enduring and real friendships, truly platonic in the best sense of the word. But even more important he gave me two boys who are now two men whom I love as dearly as if they were my own. Two boys who my children know are their cousins. They are now men of whom I am justifiably proud. Proud of their accomplishments, proud of their friendship and proud of the kind of human beings and family men that they became. Brian and Michael have the kind of values and ethics that everyone I know would wish in their own children. Smitty’s last words were right on. To the extent that we as parents form what kind of adults our children will become, Ginger deserves all the kudos. I have always known, loved and admired her and been impressed with the way she raised these boys with virtually no support system. Rest easy old friend. I hope that you find peace wherever you are.
November 11, 2008 12:34 AM